Confessions, not quite

I got my heart broken two years in a row (ha?!?! ‘diba last year lang?) and I think I am getting better in mending (not that I am asking for another one, papa jesus).

How?

When Mr. Big left Carrie at the end of Sex and the City's first season, she said “After he left, I cried for a week. And then I realized I do have FAITH. Faith in myself -- Faith that I would one day meet someone who would be sure that I was the one”. Thank God for SATC's quotable quotes, it really helped me move on. (hehe) Carrie was right as usual. We just have to trust that from the pain, something good (hopefully someone) would come out of it.

As for me, I learned to see that the pain I experienced formed me to love THE ONE better – that the next relationship will be a lot better than the previous. I, now, see that I have to be confident in loving and not to hesitate showing it as long as he is happy and I am in my right mind.

For the past months, my heart has been in a monthly cycle. As in parang may period at kasabay talaga. Okay for so many weeks, then dramatista the next day. At first, I thought a verbal closure will end these heart lapses and hopefully turn a ‘wrecked super friendship in denial’ into what it used to be – a friendship not worthy of bearing any risk of impairing. But as the drama queen suffers a blow, frustration sinks in and apathy later resides. From then, I said that as long as I do not see him, I will be okay. And I have been. Yet, I saw him unexpectedly and my heart beat more than usual. Surprisingly, when he nodded hi, I realized that my world didn't stop. We talked a little bit and we parted. Still, there were my ‘should I text him’ moments, ‘sayang alang closure’ thoughts and ‘piso texts’ for prayers of moving on. And when I woke up, God granted my wish. I am really all right. And I hope I will continuously be from now on. I’ll see when my period comes (hehe!).

Nga pala, ‘pag tinanong nyo ko tungkol sa blog na to – deny ko na blog ko to!